si vis pacem, para bellum - if you want peace, prepare for w

Hey there I'm Teliah (Tuh-Lay-Uh) Tattiana Rose - The Bull - Loyal T Swint! But you can call me Coach T!

I guess the first thing that I would want to tell you is that I am not a motivational speaker as much as I am a coach. I speak from the heart. What I speak is a universal message of love, self-discovery, and peace to all that hear it.

I am specialized in the field of pain. I know pain. From being a US Marine for 10 years, to being in a marriage riddled with domestic violence for 5 years, from being a combat trained mixed martial arts instructor and powerlifter lifting 2x my body weight to being in active labor for 86 hours without medication... I know pain. And I'm really good at it. I'm good at inflicting it and I'm great at receiving it. That is until I finally "tapped out" on December 12, 2022. I am 30 years old. 

After reading "You are a badass at making money" by Jen Sincero something just clicked and on that day, at that moment, I felt the urge to just stop fighting myself. 

For years I have been afraid of my shadow. Me-- a WARRIOR. Afraid of my MFn thoughts! Haunted by my memories, my past, my present, and constantly worried about the future.. Afraid to move forward. Afraid to charge on. ME--AFRAID -- a champion!? (:'() And for so long I've been afraid to admit it so I've just been running like Forrest Gump. I've just been runnin'. From everything. But when I finished reading that book... I just had an AHA! moment and I changed. 

Instantly. 

It felt so good to say that just now. Y'all it was an instant change. I just decided to stop running, to "tap out", 'to quit", to just stop struggling with myself and let it all ride. It was terrifying. I felt so empty. Weightless. Free. I let everything go. All of it. Instantly. I just stopped trying to try "to be" and did it. I just gave up all of my fear. I let it go. I survived it and guess what -- I'm still alive and well. I'm still here. I'm still somebody. I'm still that B. I'm still beautiful. I'm still smart. I'm still worthy and I choose to LIVE. That day -- I did it. I figured it out. It clicked. I just chose to quit struggling and I followed through with it. At that moment, I fixed my face, stood up tall, got butterflies in my stomach, and smiled. I came out of "IT" (PTSD, depression, anxiety, stress, worry, doubt, fear, shame, defeat, post trauma, etc.) I just stopped caring about it all. I relieved myself. I quit my post after properly relieving -- myself. I told myself that I was "good to go" and just left. AWOL. I was done.

My story is not amazing. I still love pain but I don't want to feel pain anymore. I have had enough. I'm over it. Why keep suffering when I could live in simple luxury if I just choose to be comfortable in my skin, in my home, with my family or myself? Why keep denying myself love from myself because I believe I'm not worthy of it? Why keep being mean AF to myself? Why keep denying myself joy? For what? I'm over it. I'm out. I'm not sitting around and letting the world crush me anymore. I am free. I am human and I choose to LIVE like I want to be here. That's all. 

I have a long story but the message is just Be You. Be Your Real Self. Be Your Beautiful Self and Rise! I love you.

With Grace

Coach T